If you want to influence change you need to be a self-differentiated leader as well as a skilled communicator when it comes to crucial conversations.
In any organization it is important to be a self-differentiated leader. A self-differentiated leader is someone who can disagree with others, but is still able to communicate and work well with others of differing opinions. Within organizations there will be people who are anxious, gossip and try to get into other peoples problems. These people will often create emotional triangles by gossiping with others and getting them involved as well. This causes the work environment to be stressful and coworkers become anxious. A differentiated leader resists being triangles and does not get involved with this. They are able to keep their cool even when others are possibly trying to sabotage you. Many people do not like to make changes, especially if they know something is working and they will attempt to sabotage what you are doing. If you are a self-differentiated leader, its important to remind yourself that you are doing the right thing, you are making a change and it is okay. Continue to work hard and do not get anxious about what others are saying. It helps to reach out to other self-differentiated leaders as well. You can learn more about what it takes to be a self-differentiated leader from Edwin Friedman in his book A Failure of Nerve. Here is a quick video to sum up some of his ideas.
To be an effective leader, you will also need to have crucial conversations to help promote change. These are conversations that are high stakes, emotional and have differing of opinions, the conversations where people are very passionate and heated about the topic being discussed. These conversations can help the organization and yourself grow and improve your plans. Since these conversations are emotional and people are often very passionate about these conversations, it is important to learn to take a step back and be able to think about the big idea – What is it that you really want to come out of this conversation? You need to be careful to not let your emotions get the best of you and to take over creating a “Fool’s Choice” where you chose to engage inappropriately in the conversation or completely disengage. When you are able to have these crucial conversations, you are able to learn from each other, feel safe and hold a productive conversation, even if you may not get exactly what you want. The goal is not to “win” the conversation but to come to an agreement, better than either of the opinions each side has and then to put that conversation into action.
It is engrained in our genetic paths to either fight or flight when under stress or pressure. During conversations about something we are passionate about, we tend to do the same things, argue (fight) for something we truly believe, even if that means we may be being disrespectful, or we shut down (flight) and give up on putting anything into the conversation. Both of these strategies will not promote positive, safe dialog between people and may even escalate the problem being addressed.
Follow these steps to having a Crucial Conversation:
1. Get Unstuck (have common goal) 2. Start with the Heart (think about what you really want from the conversation) 3. Learn to Look (look for when conversations become crucial, when yourself or others are silent or violent) 4. Make it Safe (make sure everyone feels safe to share what they are thinking) 5. Master my Stories (control your emotions) 6. STATE my path (how to express your thoughts) 7. Explore other paths (how to get others to share) 8. Move to Action (moving from talking to acting)
You can read more about the skills it takes to have Crucial Conversations in this book. Here are some videos that sum up some of the ideas from these authors.
Bardwell, M., (2010). Freidman's theory of differentiated leadership made simple. [YouTube Video]. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgdcljNV-Ew&feature=youtu.be
Callibrain. (2015). Video review for crucial conversations by kerry patterson. [YouTube Video]. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM&feature=youtu.be Friedman. E., (2017). A failure of nerve: Leadership in the age of the quick fix, revised edition. New York: Church Publishing. Patterson. K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R. & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high. United State of America. Reading Graphics. (2017). [Image]. Crucial conversations. Retrieved from: https://readingraphics.com/book-summary-crucial-conversations/ Vital Smarts India. (2012). Crucial conversations explained in two minutes. [YouTube Video]. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixEI4_2Xivw&feature=youtu.be
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We want coworkers to implement STEAM thinking activities in their classrooms to equip students with skills needed for careers in the 21st century. We will measure their progress by taking a poll of what teachers are applying STEAM thinking skills in their classrooms at the beginning, middle and end of our implementation plan and how they have seen their students thinking develop. We will also measure growth by surveying staff about their confidence in applying these skills and activities after we have begun our implementation plan. (2015) The Vital behaviors we are trying to change are: 1. Teachers to become confident using STEAM thinking activities by applying these skills in their classrooms at least once a month. 2. Teachers having STEAM buddies to plan together and hold each other accountable. 3. Teachers create, share and explore STEAM thinking activities with other teachers in the building using the STEAM thinking platform we have created. To change these vital behaviors we will need to get help from our organizational influencers. We will need help from 2 different kinds of teachers to help influence others. We will first need teacher that will model our innovation plan. These teachers are our STEAM buddy teacher and the innovative teachers in our building. We will also need teachers that will help to influence other teachers. These are the teacher who collaborate well with others, and are willing to make changes by may need some guidance. When trying to promote change within our district, we used the Six Sources of Influence chart from the book Influencer: The Power to Change Anything by Kerry Patterson. Kerry says that if you can apply at minimum 4 of the six sources you are more likely to influence change, but it is best to use all 6. Andrea and I have come up with some ideas for all of the 6 sources of influence and have created the chart in bullet format for quick reference. (click here to see our matrix full screen). (2015). Influencer model. [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.flickr.com/photos/133896810@N06/19390580600 Grenny, J., Patterson, K., Maxfield, D., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2013). Influencer: The new science of leading change, second edition. McGraw-Hill. EDLD 5304
STEAM Thinking Plan Why? We want out students to be passionate, hard working, confident, life long learners, who are prepared for their futures beyond the classroom. How? We will give students the opportunity to engage in STEAM projects that will equip them for the skills needed to succeed in the 21st century work field. What? Students who are equipped with the skills needed to succeed in the 21st century and in life. (Villis, 2017) To make a difference you must start with Why? Why should be at the core of the change you are trying to make. When you are able to connect with people on your why they are more likely to make connections to the change you are trying to make. You will also need to reach people on a personal level. Making emotional connections is important to promote change. Most people try to sell their ideas to people using the data and information about what they are trying to do, but if people don't feel a connection to what you are trying to do or change, this is just more information they have obtained (usually not leading to a change in their behaviors). You can't make people change that don't want to. You can just influence the change and be a role model for the change by connecting people to the change you are trying to make by sharing your why and using information (brain) as well as their emotional connections (heart). What do you want to change? What's your why? Check out these videos to help influence change in your organization:
Book: Start with Why by Simon Sinek How to 10x your Influence Helpful Blog Post from Melissa Lanier - Culture Change Buster #2: The Need to Conform Asacker, T. [Tedx Talks]. (2014). Why ted talks don't change peoples behaviors: Tom asacker at tdxcambridge 2014. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0jTZ-GP0N4 [GeneralElectric]. (2017). Meet molly, the kid who never stops inventing. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sucKTktHYA8 Kotter. J. [Dr. John Kotter]. (2011). The heart of change. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NKti9MyAAw Maxfield, D., Grenny, J. [VitalSmarts Video]. (2015). How to change people who don't want to cheange. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ACi-D5DI6A Sinek, S. [Steven Briginshaw]. (2013). Start with why - Simon sinek ted talk. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sioZd3AxmnE Villis, A. (2017). The golden circle + human brain. [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/first-wealths-why-golden-circle-anthony-villis EDLD3504
Why we need to try something new & change the way we teach.It's that time of year again. A time to reflect on our year and to set goals for the next. This year my husband and I were so blessed to have our first baby boy. He is the love of our lives and we are so excited to have our little family. I'm on maternity leave and loving EVERY moment of it (even the mom tired times). I know when I go back to work, I will be forever changed. "You can't do it" they say. "You can't be a great mom AND a great teacher". Yes, I have actually heard these words from many people. And to all the people that have said these words I challenge you to tell me WHY NOT? Why can't I be a great mom and a great teacher? As someone that is new to this motherhood tribe, I am making it my mission to prove all of those people wrong, and I know I'm not alone. #motivatedmama We can be great mothers AND great teachers both. I know it, because I have seen it. I am lucky to work with some great women that are botha great mom and a great teacher. I know it will be a challenge but when you have determination and love your family and your students, you just make it happen. There is no other option. Sure, will there be days where I take it easy - my lesson plans are not out of this world or we order carry out because I'm too tired to cook dinner - or that I am not on my A game, Yes! I'm human. It will be important to be forgiving of myself when I can't do what I want to get done, but I am determined. I am a mom. I am a teacher. I am strong. I will be smart and organized with my time. I will give my all to my family, to my work AND to myself (cant forget about my me time). I will be great at being a mom and at being a teacher, and I will prove those people wrong. This YearI will be the best wife & mom I can be. I will be the best teacher & role model I can be. I will be the best sibling & friend I can be. I will take care of my health. I will take care of my finances. I will go to church. I will stay motivated. I will forgive myself. I will be strong. How?Okay Okay. You already moms out there may be saying "Haha, I remember when I was that way" or "I'll believe it when I see it". But I am determined to stay productive AND enjoy my life outside of work with my family and friends. I recently read a book, Four Seconds by Peter Bregman. Ironically, I read this on a cruise while I was relaxing. This is a great read and has really helped me to stay motivated and productive with my work both at home and at school. In Four Seconds, Peter Bregman shows us how to replace negative patterns with energy boosting and productive behaviors. To thrive in our fast-paced world all it takes is to pause for as few as four seconds -- the length of a deep breath -- allowing us to make intentional and tactical choices that lead to better outcomes. Here is a video that I feel goes along with how I feel about being productive. Its important for people to take time to slow down, enjoy life, reflect on your work and get your thoughts and ideas together. Other motivators - Yoga and meditation. This is a great way to take your me time, refocus and feel your best so you can be your best for everyone else. I found this great yoga place in my area (called Renew Mama), that is for Moms specifically. They have Mommy and Baby yoga classes as well as classes for just Mom but they provide a babysitter right next door. This is a great community of mama's right there in the life balance struggle with you. I also love Head Space to give me just the 10 minutes a day that I need to reflect, relax and clear my mind. I have also decided to re-vamp my instagram account. I am going to try to follow just the people that inspire me and make me want to do and be my best. There are so many great moms and teachers that focus on being your best. Here are some of my favorites: TheEllenShow (Ellen Degeneres), JoannaGaines, KristinCavallari, Meghankedmonds, Melrystrick, Moms.Can.Be.Fit, PositivelyPosie, MommyHotline, WeAreYogaEd, FunkyBuddhaYoga, TheWhole30, TheBump, LoriHarder, TheAmyGroesbeck, TheTeachersPassport, TheMindfulEducator, TeachOutsidetheBox, JustAPrimaryGirl, MariadisMondyBooks, StepIntoSecondGrade, HappyHealthyHumble, DashingDish, Littlebitsof_RealFood, Littlevintagenest... I know there are so many more, but these are some of my favorites I can quick think of. Plus all of my AMAZING mama friends. #inspiration Other Books I am reading:
I will be the best for my family, and for my students. I am determined. I am strong. & I know I am not alone.
Watching this video helped me to change my perspective and think about this in a different way. In my classroom, I like to start the school year by writing out a list of my students names and next to each name write something I enjoy about them (their quirky personality, how hard they work, how creative they are) and something that they really enjoy. As the school year goes on, I like to refer back to this list to remind myself of what each student brings to our class dynamic and how I can incorporate what they enjoy so they can share and learn from that student. I am also constantly trying to help students build relationships with each other through daily play times, or simply noticing when they are comfortable with their group and then mixing them up. As the year goes on, the whole class becomes a team. They look out for each other and help each other in their learning as well as in life. Here is a video I LOVE that I have of students working together to practice reading words:
Encouraging math fluency:
And even something as simple as helping each other to zip their coats or tie their shoes. Or if a student is having a rough day, they will go to give them a hug. It is amazing to watch these little guys, just 5 or 6 years-old, communicate, work together and become a team. I said this video has changed my perspective. I help to promote this atmosphere in my class with students and they become a great team! Why am I not doing everything I can with my co-workers to be just like what I see in my students? “Everyone has value”. It is important for me as a life long learner and as a team member to take the time to think about each of my co-workers. What are their strengths? How can I build trust with them? Who can I turn to for help? Do people feel comfortable coming to me for help? Am I taking the time I should be to connect with the people I work with? With the pressure as an educator from evaluations, performance scores and standardized testing, it is often easy to fall into the trap of trying to improve your own classroom. This video reminds me that it is even more important to collaborate with my team, ask for help and to always be learning. Everyone has a value and I can learn from anyone. When I shut my door and try to keep to myself I am only hindering my own learning and my students growth. I need to have a “social connectedness” with my coworkers so we can grow together as a team and be successful as a group, improving our skills and knowledge as educators. I am lucky to work in a school where this is possible. I am able to have lunch with my grade level team daily. We also get to meet as a staff every other Friday for what we call “Early Release Fridays” where they students will go home early and teachers will collaborate with our grade level teams, as a building or sometimes across buildings. We also go out afterwards to the B.A.R. (for our Bi-weekly Academic Review). The BARs are our way of getting out of the building and just talking, no pressure of school, venting, sharing, connecting (plus the food and drinks). We are lucky to have this community built within our school. We can sometimes forget the importance of these things as our days get busy and life is happening, but this video reminds me of how making these connections with my coworkers is just as important as the teaching I am doing in my classroom. I should make sure to attend these events and meetings if I want to continue making connections, learning, improving and growing as an educator. Everyone has value and it is up to us to help motivate and learn from each other. Don't set goals... What?
I just started reading this great book called Four Seconds by Peter Bregman. It is all about how to be more productive and replacing counter-productive habits. What teacher does not need to be more productive? As I read I thought I would reflect through my blog the ways that I hope to be more productive! I hope these strategies will help others to think in a different way and to learn something new with me. So the first helpful tool is to NOT set goals. This sounds crazy, but the author talks about how setting goals can make your vision narrow and could have negative outcomes like skipping steps just to meet an end goal. Instead, think of an area of focus. This will help you to accomplish your goals, in a productive and through way. You will take your time to make sure the job/task is done correct and are open minded to improving in all areas to achieve or complete you task. This is simply a mind shift in how you think about your "goals" and I am willing to give it a try! Each day/month/year I am going to set a new area of focus. This month/week looks like this: My Area of Focus (at Work) - Try out new, fun lessons. My Area of Focus (for Work) - Post & share more to social media & my blog. My Area of Focus (for Home) - Try new healthy recipes. My Area of Focus (for Self) - Work out more days than I normally do. What are your area of focus going to be?? |
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